"OMG, I TOUCHED HIM! HE'S SO SLIMY!! IT WAS HORRIFYYYYING!!!"

While eerily similar to a phone call I made to my mother whilst on my honeymoon < joke! >, the title of this Blog was actually the scream I heard from my sister, Andrea, when we were little ankle biters.

So let's rewind a bit. Once upon a time....

We had two fish, namely Gilbert & Sullivan, but specifically: Gilbert & Sullivan the Blue Betta Fish. Gilbert was Andrea’s and Sullivan was mine.

Both my sister and I had spent a good few months relentlessly on my mother’s case for a pet. Mum talked it over with friends and finally decided we were responsible enough. Thinking back I rather suspect she was up for anything that might make us stop talking for ten minutes.

Anyway, we all headed off into town one day to the local pet store and this is where we found Gilbert & Sullivan, both struggling to survive in a small container four sizes too small for them.

Now let's flash-forward back to the screaming.

Andrea had been taking good care of Gilbert (& Sullivan) for a couple of weeks, until -- "OH MY GOD! I TOUCHED HIM!! HE'S SO SLIMY!!! IT WAS HORRIFYYYYING!!!! OHHHH MYYY GOD!!!!!" She came running into the kitchen (where I was busy helping mum lay the table for dinner), having a complete little kid style nuclear meltdown, tears flowing in bucket loads.

"What happened?!" mum asked rather concerningly.

"I put my finger in the hole on the top of the tank where we feed them, and I touched Gilbert -- OOOH MYYYY GOD!!!!! HE BIT ME!!! AND I TOUCHED HIM!!! OHHHH GOD!!!!"

"He didn't bite you." Mum said calmly, with a quiet chuckle.

"YES, HE DID!!!!!!" Andrea insisted.

Then I piped up with "Are you bleeding?" < :-) >

"WELL -- NO... OH GOD!!!! WASH MY FINGER!!!!! WASH IT!!!!"

"Calm down!” mum said. “You're fine. Maybe he was just trying to give you a kiss?"

"NOOOO!!! HE HATES ME!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN!!!!" she screamed.

At this point I came up with a plan to stop her whining and screaming. So I walked my reluctant sister back to Gilbert & Sullivan’s little tank, having agreed to make her feel better by putting my own finger in there.

So I poked my finger down the hole into the water. "See, he's not doing anyth--" CHOMP. Holy crap! The little blue bastard had bitten me!

I immediately pulled my finger out and that's when Gilbert came up and out of the hole still attached to the end of my finger! I shook my hand violently and he flew off and landed on top of the tank with a small wet thud.

After a brief moment of stunned silence...

"OOHHHH MY GOD!!!!! GILBERT’s DEAD!!!!!! JENN KILLED GILBERT!!!!!" my dear sister screamed.

"HE'S NOT DEAD!" I yelled, as mum quickly whisked Andrea out of the room and I carefully scooped her little finger-biter back in the water.

A few minutes later I went in to our bedroom to see my sister and found her lying sadly on her bed. "You okay?" I asked. “…how's your finger?"

"It tingles."

"He probably just thought you were a big pellet of food."

"No, he hates me! I never want to see him again!!"

"So shall I ask mum to get rid of him?"

"Nooo, I love him."

"Okay. Then why don't we both go back into the lounge and give them a little food so you and Gilbert can be friends again?" - which is exactly what she did.

And I'm pleased to report Andrea and Gilbert worked out their differences and became good buddies once again.

The end.

May you always have someone in your life to listen when you need them to, and to make you laugh when they know you need to.