Countdown to Spring.....and snakes!

This week my partner Paul became a granddad…or ‘Pops’ as he prefers. His daughter has had a little baby boy called Riley and mother and baby are doing fine, albeit in Western Australia….very frustrating for Paul and I. Not to be left out though, apparently I too have a new title - ‘Nana Jenn!’ (I defy even my closest friends to mention this too often!).

With Spring in the air and Paul becoming a grandfather, this then got me thinking about parenthood, becoming grandparents and….motorhomes, or coffin-dodgers as Paul fondly calls them when referring to his parent’s treasured holiday home on wheels. (Listen fellas, this is an insight into a woman’s mind at work, so next time you’re wondering “How on earth did you arrive at that from the conversation we were just having”, now you know!).

Like most businesses, we too have seasonal trends in the motor repair business. And it is at this time of year that I will start to see a sharp increase in the following:

Motorhomes - T’is the season to be……..holidaying. Yes, the sunshine brings out the holiday mood in us whether it’s a weekend down in Cornwall or a week away at Easter, those campervan and motorhome doors will be unlocked, the bedding aired, and the engines…err, not turned over. Now to be fair, most of our motorhome-owning customers are very good at getting them serviced quite regularly. But this always seems to happen at the same time, in the Spring, thus everyone wants them maintained at the same time. And the most common problem already happening this year seems to be dead batteries where, despite having turned the fridge off, it is still drawing off power from the main battery. Now there are not many garages these days like mine who can accommodate large vans for servicing and MOT work, so it’s the only time of year that I see my diary change from normal “MOT” slots to “MOT Motorhome!” slots; the exclamation mark (& usually additional yellow highlighter) indicating that it could be a long job…

Air conditioning - For some reason very few drivers realise that your air conditioning system can be just as effective during Winter months as the Summer, not least in demisting your windscreen at warp speed. So as the weather starts to get warmer many peeps decide to turn on their aircon for the first time in many months only to find out it isn’t working properly. This is often just down to the system needing to be re-gassed and, being one of only a few garages that offer this service….well legally any way…we will once again start to see aircon re-gas bookings appear in our diary more frequently than at any other time of the year.

Door windows - As with the air conditioning, many of us have not used our car door windows during the Winter months and normally what happens is this. The phone starts ringing with the same sorry tale, “I can’t close my window, the glass seems to have got stuck! Any chance I can come around for one of your guys to have a look at it…now?” And “now” often means either lunchtime or after work, between 4.30pm - 5.00pm, as these are the times when the window opening then closing attempts first start (as opposed to first thing in the morning when it’s cold). So as I’m a big softie when it comes to a customer in trouble, instead of saying “Look I’m really sorry but my boys are at lunch” or “…my boys are just about to go home”, what I actually say is “Yes, of course we can help, come right round, my boys will take a look and at the very least make sure the window glass is temporarily put back up until we can book it in properly”. And so it is this time of year when "my boys" throw their sandwich boxes in the air and give up on ever seeing their families again…..at least for a few weeks.

Now, back to the thinking (keeping up guys?). Having mulled over the forthcoming seasonal trends, this then got me thinking about what happened last year. Probably as a result of the recession we started to see more caravans on the road, many driven by those new to the towing experience. Each summer, and most Fridays, we’d hear on the local radio (a quick plug here for Exeter fm me thinks) “road closed….traffic queues….accident….. caravan overturned”. The boys always shout out “Yey, there’s another one!” and Chris (my workshop manager), who lives in the Dawlish area, starts threatening to chop a large tree down to block the main road, in an attempt to stop the holiday makers from ascending on his territory.

The scourge of the unlucky or, usually careless caravaners, 'snaking', occurs - when a caravan under two begins swinging from side to side, potentially resulting in a caravan swinging right around and hitting the side of the towing vehicle, causing car and caravan to spin and overturn.

Whilst even the most experienced caravaner can not avoid every type of snake induced accident, it is the careless caravaner who particularly irritates the hell out of my partner Paul. Having owned a few caravans in his time for his off-roading competition trips, he has on this occasion become my own personal search engine in my quest to save some of Devon’s roads on a Friday by listing the most basic, fundamental safety points that every caravan newbie should know:

1. A fully laden caravan should ideally not exceed 85% of the weight of the car. I knew that! And the optimum nose weight on the tow ball is around 7% of its laden weight. Okay, I didn’t know that one.

2. The tow bar is specific to your vehicle and it is professionally fitted.

3. Towing stability is dependent on how the caravan is loaded. Like learning to ride a bike, fitting a stabiliser will also help it seems - although it is no substitute for not loading your van correctly, so remember Paul’s rule: Heavy items over and in front of the caravan axle, not towards the rear or high up in lockers.

4. Check your tyres - all of them! Car tyre pressures may need to be inflated more for towing. And as caravan tyre tread rarely wears out (due to lower mileage), look out for signs of cracking and flat spots due to standing in one position.

5. It sounds obvious, but remember you’ll take longer to stop with a caravan in tow.

6. Speed restrictions are different with a caravan. In 70mph limits caravans are restricted to 60mph, and to 50mph in 60mph limits. Watch out for crosswinds and go slower downhill as this is when ‘snaking’ is most likely to occur, as is being overtaken by a large lorry for example. If the caravan begins to snake, Paul doesn’t accelerate or brake. I’ve watched him lift off the accelerator to allow engine braking, and he also loosens his grip on the steering wheel slightly until the snaking is brought under control. Then he gently accelerates back up to speed.

7. Finally, as with most vehicles, caravans should be serviced every year regardless of how few miles have been travelled. I definitely knew that one!

And so I end this rather long tale with an admission to you all that the last time I towed a caravan I was actually involved in an accident.

There I was minding my own business, leisurely setting off for the weekend when I turned into the bend on our extremely icy main road. Realising only too late a collision was imminent, I slammed on the brakes which obviously proved futile and all I could do was hang on for dear life as our trusty caravan slid out of control on the ice rink we call a street.

Suh-Mashhh!! Twisted metal and plastic flew up in the air. I just sat dumbfounded and began to shake.

“Bloody hell!” I yelled, having got out to survey the scene and prying out pieces wedged underneath my CR-V’s front end. Luckily, upon inspection my caravan hadn't incurred any damage. But I sure as heck had demolished the black late model that happened to be sitting in the middle of the street.

Who the hell puts a STEREO in the middle of the bloomin’ street??? Oh yeah, my idiot neighbours do…..two days after bin collection day! I was so annoyed that I threw what was left of it up on the pavement.

Good thing I didn’t have to tell the insurance company though. Can you imagine the conversation:

"Okay madam, what was the make and model of the one you hit?" They would ask.

"Ummm. A black Sony. Don't know the year, but it must have been an older make as it still had a tape deck."

"Did you say SONY?"

"Uh huh. Large model, a quad with quite the sound system, at least in its day."

"Errr madam, I don't believe Sony make vehicles."

"Oh I know that. I hit a home stereo unit in the middle of our street. Smashed it to bits too. It is now an Ex-Stereo…."

All Paul could say when I amused him with my incident was "Sony eh? Maybe the speakers were still good!"

Not any more babes. Not any more.